Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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