Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
