Do you still have your period?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
