ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
