Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
