**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
