i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
