also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize