i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
