If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No subtext here. People are naked.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
