Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
