So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
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