...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
