I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
