I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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