oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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