don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
