I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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