You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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