he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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