he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
