Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
