Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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