hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
