those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
