Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
