My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
