I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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