my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
