he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
