he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
