we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
