Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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