dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
