I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
