Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I know her cup size but not her name....
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