Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
