i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
