you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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