No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
