I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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