You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize