Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
