Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
