haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize