he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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