I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
