Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
