I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
