Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
