I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
