And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I lost the right to judge tonight
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
