Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
