I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
