Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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