After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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