Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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