Apparently you make a good broom.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
