I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
this hospital has no fireball
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
you made out with another girl for some wings
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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