If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
