It's Friday. Sex?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize