speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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