I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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