This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
